Sara Stanizai
Benefits of Choosing a Neurodivergent Therapist

When it comes to your mental health, the importance of finding the right therapist cannot be overstated. Finding someone who gets your life and empathizes with your goals can be tricky if your life doesn’t look mainstream, which is the case for most of our neurodivergent clients. Plus, you deserve excellent clinical care! A shortcut to finding a therapist that is a great fit is looking for neurodivergent affirming therapists, who are often therapists who are neurodivergent themselves. Neurodivergent therapists bring a unique perspective to the therapeutic relationship, offering a myriad of benefits for both neurodivergent and neurotypical clients.

Benefits of Choosing a Neurodivergent Therapist
Sara Stanizai
Embracing Self-Discovery in Neurodiversity

Getting to know yourself and learning how your brain works can be a tricky journey, especially when it comes to neurodivergent experiences like ADHD. There is so much information online, but it’s hard to tell what’s a trustworthy source, and some sources seem to directly contradict others, making it quickly overwhelming. If you find yourself wondering, "How do I know if I have ADHD? Do I need to see a professional or can I diagnose myself?" this post is for you, written from a neurodiversity-affirming perspective.

Embracing Self-Discovery in Neurodiversity
Sara Stanizai
Breaking the Doom Spending Cycle

It’s 2024- even on a good day, there’s a lot to feel anxious about. There’s the big picture: global warming, pandemic, human rights violations, inflation, uncertain job futures- and that’s not even considering individual stressors like difficult jobs or strained relationships.

We all feel anxiety sometimes and we all have different ways to cope with it. For some of us, we like to get a little spendy: enter doom spending. Whether it's impulsively buying items online or constantly seeking comfort in retail therapy, doom spending can become a harmful coping mechanism. In this post, we'll explore the connection between anxiety and doom spending, and more importantly, discuss healthy coping strategies to break free from this cycle.

Breaking the Doom Spending Cycle
Sara Stanizai
Exploring Stimming in Adults: Understanding, ...

Stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, is a term commonly associated with neurodivergent individuals, including ADHD and autistic adults.

But what is it, actually? And- does it serve a purpose?


By de-pathologizing and normalizing stimming, we can better understand its benefits for the nervous system and overall mental health. It’s super important to support/encourage stimming for those who find it helpful, and explore how affirming therapists can support ADHD adults in various aspects of their lives.

Exploring Stimming in Adults: Understanding, Normalizing, and Supporting Neurodivergence
Sara Stanizai
Managing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in Your ...

You may be familiar with the term Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It’s not gender dysphoria or being a highly sensitive person. If you spend any time on mental health channels on social media, you know these words can all start to sound the same.

What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is an emotional response to the perception of rejection or criticism, which can be more intense for individuals with ADHD or certain neurodivergent traits.

It goes without saying, then, that RSD can have a huge impact on relationships. It can manifest as hypersensitivity, fear of abandonment, and emotional volatility. Unfortunately, these can easily be confused with attachment issues, personality disorders, even abuse. It is crucial for partners to recognize that RSD is not a character flaw but a neurobiological response.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria can significantly impact relationships, causing emotional turmoil and strained connections. However, with understanding, communication, and a few proactive strategies, managing RSD within your relationship is possible.

Managing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in Your Relationship

couples therapy

Relational Trauma and its Lasting Impact

Relational Trauma and its Lasting Impact

Hear me out.

Let’s say you have a broken blender at home. Every time you try to make a smoothie, it tips off the counter and splashes your fruit purée all over the kitchen floor. Sometimes you can salvage some of the smoothie, but most of the time, it just leaves you hungry, flinching, and trying to block out the loud whirring, while covered in a mess of mangled fruit and yogurt. You end up feeling like you’ll never get that refreshing sip you came for!

Abusive relationships are similar in that they leave us with reflexive jumpiness, feelings of mistrust, emptiness, and hopelessness. Although instead of fearing fruit purée, we end up fearing people. Sometimes people we love deeply.

But your relationships don’t have to feel like a broken blender. Finding those healthy relationships may not always be as easy as driving to the store and picking up a new appliance, but there are steps you can take and principles you can follow to avoid the traumatic mess of unhealthy relationships. Here are some pointers to help you identify and avoid toxic relationships and the damage they leave behind.

Are Ultimatums in Relationships Ever a Good Idea?

Are Ultimatums in Relationships Ever a Good Idea?

I was asked to contribute to an article at Dame inspired by the Netflix original show, The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On.

I had heard of the show, but didn’t binge watch it until AFTER I contributed to this article. (My opinion didn’t really change after I finally did watch it, though.)

Essentially, I explained that boundaries are limits that we hold ourselves to. Ultimatums are expectations we put on others. And while boundaries preserve relationships, ultimatums threaten them.

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I Still Want to Like You After This: Relationships in Quarantine

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I Still Want to Like You After This: Relationships in Quarantine

The first week or two was OK. It was fun staying in sweatpants. You enjoyed some comfort food. Made a group project out of being sure you had supplies for the time being.

Now you’re getting on each others' nerves a little bit. The cabin fever is setting in, and you're learning more than you thought possible about your partner.

These are stressful times, to be sure. A quarantine of undetermined length can certainly wear on even the strongest relationships. There’s a sentence I didn’t predict I would write. But here we are.

Here are some suggestions for how to maintain a calm and comforting environment with your partner. Bonus: These tips will remain helpful for when we emerge from this pandemic more grateful and appreciative of all our connections. xoxo

Check Your Relationship Health: 4 Indicators for Success

Check Your Relationship Health: 4 Indicators for Success

No relationship is perfect, as no single person is perfect.. But how can you tell if you’re making things better - or making things worse?

Whether your relationship is a few months old or a few decades old, there is never a wrong time to consider your relationship’s health.

No matter what specifically you’re disagreeing about, these are signs that point to strength or weak spots in your relationship.

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Why It Matters: Three Ways LGBTQ+ Affirming Couples Therapy is Different

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Why It Matters: Three Ways LGBTQ+ Affirming Couples Therapy is Different

Couples counseling can benefit any couple, of any age, at any time. But doing therapeutic work with the LGBTQ+ community is different. And I believe it should be.

The representation of couples counseling in mainstream media has focused heavily on cisgender, heterosexual, and monogamous couples. But what about the rest of us? The lack of representation shouldn’t dissuade you from getting the help your relationship needs.

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Why Happy Couples Go To Therapy

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Why Happy Couples Go To Therapy

When you think about the type of couples that go to therapy, you’re likely conjuring up an image of partners trying to work through adultery, or those who have even more serious problems. But that’s not always the case.

While it is true that you definitely should go to a therapist if you are having trouble with your partner, the real answer to “should my partner and I go to couple’s therapy?” is always yes. Read on to find out how therapy can benefit even the happiest couples.

How to Tell if your Partner Respects You

How to Tell if your Partner Respects You

Couples sometimes panic when they start having the same disagreement over and over again. They're worried it's a sign of a fundamental mismatch in their relationship. They may avoid the disagreement to avoid potentially ending the relationship. But that makes things worse!

I spoke with Jamie Kravitz at Elite Daily a few weeks ago about how to tell if your partner respects you. I believe that almost any relationship can be improved, and a disagreement (even a frustrating, recurring one) doesn't necessarily mean the end. 

It's OK to go to Bed Angry

It's OK to go to Bed Angry

You're the type that wants to solve the issue right away. You don't like letting things linger. You want to get to the bottom of it and make sure it doesn't happen again. Maybe you're secretly worried that you can't work through this? So you keep at it, determined to resolve it. 

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What Happens in Couples Therapy?

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What Happens in Couples Therapy?

Most couples are unhappy for an average of 6 years before deciding to try therapy together. Whatever the reason (stigma associated with counseling, not wanting to admit they are "that couple," prioritizing work over their relationship, etc.), by the time they decide to try therapy, they aren't sure what happens next. Here's a little of what you can expect:

Convenient to Long Beach and Seal Beach at:

4510 E Pacific Coast Hwy, #540, Long Beach, CA 90804

contact@prospecttherapy.com | (562) 704-4736