Try This Next Time You Feel Like a Loser

Ready to have your mind blown?

I was driving across town yesterday and listening to some "guilty pleasure" music. Don't judge! I'm not going to tell you what it was.

Anyway, I hadn't heard this one particular song in a long time.  You know how music can send you right back to a specific time and place? High school graduation. Your first album that you bought with your "own money." A bad break-up. 

That's what happened to me. Kind of. 

I remembered back to where I was about five years ago. I had been lost, angry, and just wanted to "hurry up" and force myself to get over the pain. I had recently lost my mom. So recently, in fact, that I didn't yet understand the effect her loss would have on me. If you've lost a loved one, you know that there's a difference between the immediate sadness and the sadness you don't feel until later.

This music put me back in that head-space. At the time, I felt like a loser. 

Yes, even therapists can have a hard time. I stopped providing therapy, and got back into my own therapy. I leaned on my support system, even though the "tough" part of me was fighting it. I watched all of Sex and the City, twice. AND the movies. (I know.)

The music shot me back to those days of losing sleep, floundering in my emotions, and acting out. The song itself wasn't a sad song. Actually it was a love song. 

A happy, gentle, grounded song about a love so powerful that it could overcome anything. How the person was waiting their whole life to meet this person. They felt like they could do anything because of this relationship. They couldn't believe how lucky they were, and this person was there all along. Together they were unstoppable.

Not to get too Tyler Durden about it, but somehow I started hearing it as a love song to myself.

Like I had been waiting to feel like myself again, and here I was. I felt like I could do anything if I just loved and believed in myself. I saw the difference between where I am now, and where I had been.

Imagine if you spoke to yourself the way those love songs do?

Try it! Think of the most positive, romantic, syrupy love songs you know, and try signing them to yourself. Turn up your car stereo and do your best, most shameless karaoke. Dedicate it to that part of yourself that needs to hear it. I'm telling you, you'll feel better.

"Positive affirmations" aren't for everyone. They're not always for me, or my clients. But this had me feeling a little more confident. 

OK, it was "Adore You" by Miley Cyrus. I said don't judge!!!


If you're struggling with self-esteem and the "tough" part of you is trying to go it alone, don't! There are all kinds of ways to help yourself feel better. Call me at (562) 704-4736 for a free consultation about how therapy can help you build self-esteem and manage anxiety and depression. Prospect Therapy welcomes individuals and couples of all genders and orientations in Long Beach and Seal Beach. 

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