It’s OK if you’re not ready to “go back to how things were.”
As the weather warms up for summer and COVID fatigue reduces public inhibitions, many places are returning to “normal”: Kicking masks, social distancing, and isolation to the curb.
If you spent the past two years carefully avoiding face-to-face interactions with people outside your bubble, it can be pretty jarring.
You may be thinking, “What did I use to wear to work?” or “Were awkward silences after someone finishes speaking this long before?”
You might be painfully aware of people sharing drinks while watching your favorite re-runs.
And heaven help the person who coughs in public.
You’ve adjusted to an almost always virtual world, so returning to an in-person world can be anxiety-inducing.
Fret not—you’re not alone, and there are things you can do to make the transition easier.
Let’s Call It What It Is: Re-Entry After Trauma
Psychologists are familiar with the phrases “re-entry” or “reconnection” because they are essential to healing after someone experiences trauma. Re-entry is when you take your first steps back into the world that traumatized you enough to leave it for a while.
Some people experience feelings of agitation at this time, known as “re-entry anxiety.” Adjusting your wardrobe, social schedule, and personal routine to fit the “new normal” can spark feelings of anxiety, insecurity, depression, and for some, re-traumatization.
Try not to shame yourself for these feelings. After all, if no one were anxious about COVID-19, we wouldn’t have life-saving precautions like masks or social distancing in the first place.
When to Seek Help from a Professional
As we already know, anxiety is a typical, common, helpful human emotion. You are probably having more anxiety than you are used to, but given the state of the world, that is to be expected. Don’t be quick to pathologize (aka diagnose) yourself!
If you’re trying to figure out if you anxiety is getting out of hand, pay attention to the following experiences, especially if they worsen or last for more than two weeks straight:
Difficulty sleeping through the night
Significant changes in appetite
Disturbing intrusive thoughts that don’t go away
Overwhelming worry that impacts your decisions
Feeling preoccupied with safety
Regularly fearing or being preoccupied with death
Lower work or school performance than before
Irritability
Apathy
Intense sadness
Flashbacks of traumatic memories
You know yourself best, and you have every right to adjust your daily living as needed. If we want our life back, we must take our mental health seriously.
Pause and Notice Negative Feelings
Being aware of our own emotions is the first step in self-regulating them. For now, make an effort to pause, observe, and accept how you feel. When you’re stressed, nervous, or agitated, pause and think, “Okay, I’m feeling [emotion]. What do I think could be contributing to this?”
Maybe a friend brought up going to a movie theater that’s finally open, and you felt like rejecting the offer would ruin their day, so you said yes. After avoiding large crowds and wearing masks indoors, seeing a movie in theaters might conjure strong emotions.
The pressure from others to conform is real. Especially when your choices seem to say something extra about your political leanings.
But sometimes we just want to stay in and it doesn’t mean any more than that.
Respond to Your Feelings Without Judgment
For some people, this is the hardest part. It looks like resisting the urge to say, “Come on, everyone else is ready to leave the house. Why aren’t you?” Instead, view your emotions in a neutral mental space, and go at your pace to set new boundaries.
If going to a movie theater makes you nervous, think of a compromise that fits within your boundaries. You could suggest waiting a month for drive-in movies to open, or you could offer to meet them after the film for a drink on an outdoor patio that makes you feel more comfortable.
Speak for Yourself
The easiest way to prevent conflict with friends and family who feel differently is by using “I” statements. “I’m not ready for that right now, but I will let you know when I am,” is a much better alternative to saying, “We shouldn’t do that right now.”
Help your loved ones see where you’re feeling on the road to re-entering daily life.
To learn more ways to cope with post-pandemic anxiety, you may consider working with a therapist. Many of us were offering video sessions before COVID, and still are. At the end of the day, nothing is worth your peace.
Therapy for Anxiety After Social Distancing in Long Beach and California
Prospect Therapy is a queer + trans affirming therapy practice based in Long Beach, CA, with a focus on mental health for first-generation, immigrant, and bicultural communities. We continue to provide online therapy for a variety of mental wellness and relationship concerns to clients throughout the state of California. Learn more about how we bring lived experience to our work with people of all ages in our communities by requesting a consultation below.