It’s great that therapy is becoming more mainstream and popular, with plenty of shows and other media trying to portray therapy in a mildly more accurate light.
It also seems, however, that suggesting therapy becomes a knee-jerk reaction to any type of discomfort or conflict.
Yes, I believe that virtually everyone could benefit from therapy in some way. I also believe that it’s worth taking the time to consider what you want out of therapy, what might actually help you, or to consider the risks of investing your resources into therapy. It’s OK if you don’t know all the answers - the free consultation can help fill in the gaps. But you should at least be asking the questions!
That's why many therapists “offer,” aka require, the consultation first. It’s not something you should just sign up for.
The Benefits of Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is a type of counseling that aims to help couples improve their relationship. This type of therapy can be beneficial in a number of ways. First and foremost, couples therapy provides a safe and supportive environment for couples to discuss their issues. This can be especially helpful for couples who struggle with communication. By working with a therapist, couples can learn to communicate more effectively, actually listen and hear each other, and express their thoughts and feelings in a constructive way.
Another benefit of couples therapy is that it can help couples work through difficult emotions. Many couples struggle with issues such as anger, resentment, and jealousy. These emotions can be difficult to manage on your own, but with the help of a therapist, couples can learn to identify and manage their emotions in a safer way.
I often remind couples, a lot of what you’re feeling started before you even met each other.
Old triggers, relationship patterns from your parents/family, and personal habits can show up in relationships and then we blame our partner for them. Going to couples therapy can help you parse out what’s yours, theirs, or both.
Couples therapy can also help couples improve their intimacy and connection. Many couples struggle with issues such as lack of intimacy, sexual dysfunction, or feeling disconnected from their partner. Physical intimacy is often a mirror of emotional intimacy. Even if you are frequently having sex, it might seem like you have “no issues” there. However, therapy can help you recognize if one of you may be feeling disconnected, overcompensating, or creating codependency to substitute for actual intimacy. Through couples therapy, couples can learn to reconnect with each other and improve their physical and emotional intimacy.
Finally, couples therapy can help couples develop a better understanding of each other. By working with a therapist, couples can gain insight into their partner's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This can help them develop a deeper level of empathy and understanding, which can lead to a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.
The Risks of Couples Therapy
While there are many benefits to couples therapy, there are also some risks that should be considered. One potential risk of couples therapy is that it can be emotionally challenging. Couples may be asked to confront difficult emotions and issues that they have been avoiding. This can be uncomfortable and even painful at times.
Another risk of couples therapy is that it may not work for everyone. While many couples find therapy to be helpful, there are some couples who may not benefit from this type of treatment. Couples who are not willing to work on their relationship or who have already decided to end their relationship may not find therapy to be helpful. Often, therapy is treated as a last ditch effort to save a relationship that for all purposes, ended long ago. It may be worth trying, or it may be helpful to confront the truth and bypass the investment of therapy. If one person is not interested, couples therapy is nearly impossible.
Finally, couples therapy can be expensive and time-consuming. Depending on the therapist and the type of therapy, couples may need to attend multiple sessions per week for several months. This can be a significant investment of time and money, which may not be feasible for all couples, and may detract from other priorities. Let’s not pretend that it’s accessible or easy to find and afford the right therapist.
How to Decide if Couples Therapy is Right for You
If you are considering couples therapy, it is important to carefully weigh the potential benefits and risks. Here are some factors to consider when deciding if couples therapy is right for you:
Are you each willing to work on your relationship? Couples therapy requires a commitment from each partner to work on their relationship. If one partner is not willing to participate or is resistant to therapy, it may be difficult to see positive results.
Do you have realistic expectations for therapy? Couples therapy is not a magic solution that will solve all your problems overnight. It takes time, effort, and commitment to see positive changes in your relationship. It is important to have realistic expectations for what therapy can achieve.
Do you feel comfortable with the therapist? It is important to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with and who has experience working with couples. A good therapist will provide a safe and supportive environment for you to work through your issues.
Can you afford the cost of therapy? Couples therapy can be expensive, so it is important to consider whether you can afford the cost of treatment. Some therapists offer a sliding scale fee based on income, so be sure to ask about this option if cost is a concern.
Are you both committed to making a change? Couples therapy is most effective when both partners are committed to making a change in their relationship. If one partner is not willing to make changes or is resistant to therapy, it may be difficult to see positive results.
In conclusion, couples therapy can be a powerful tool for improving your relationship. By providing a safe and supportive environment for couples to work through their issues, therapy can help couples improve their communication, manage difficult emotions, improve intimacy, and develop a better understanding of each other. However, it is important to carefully weigh the potential risks and benefits of therapy before deciding if it is right for you.
By considering factors such as your willingness to work on your relationship, your expectations for therapy, your comfort level with the therapist, the cost of therapy, and your commitment to making a change, you can make an informed decision about whether couples therapy is the right choice for you.
Read more about Couples Therapy here.