As a Gottman method couples therapist, I have seen firsthand the impact that trauma can have on a relationship. Trauma, whether it be from childhood experiences or more recent events, can leave lasting scars that can affect how we relate to our partners and ourselves. However, I have also witnessed the incredible benefits that trauma therapy can have on relationships. As you may have suspected, addressing your trauma individually, or even together, can augment the work you do in couples therapy as you heal and grow together.
How does trauma manifest in relationships?
It can lead to a sense of disconnection, distrust, and fear of intimacy. It can also cause emotional numbness or hyperarousal, making it difficult for couples to connect on a deeper level. Trauma can also trigger a fight or flight response, leading to arguments, avoidance, or withdrawal.
Does trauma therapy improve relationships?
Yes! As a key benefit, trauma therapy provides a space for couples to explore the impact of trauma on their relationship. Trauma therapy is a specialized form of therapy that is designed to help individuals process traumatic experiences and develop coping strategies. When used in a couples therapy context, it can help partners to understand how their trauma affects their relationship and how they can support each other in healing.
It can explain some of the unexplained reactions, impulses, and emotional wounds between you. Trauma is never an excuse for harmful behavior. It can, however, give context for what someone needs in order to improve their behavior.
Trauma therapy can help couples to develop a greater sense of empathy and compassion for each other.
Trauma survivors often feel like they are alone in their experiences and that no one else can understand what they are going through. By sharing their trauma in therapy, couples can gain a deeper understanding of each other’s experiences and develop a greater sense of empathy and compassion.
Trauma therapy can also help couples to build trust and intimacy.
Trauma survivors often struggle with trust issues, particularly when it comes to intimate relationships. In therapy, couples can explore the underlying reasons for their trust issues and develop strategies to build trust and intimacy in their relationship.
Another benefit of trauma therapy is that it can help couples to develop better communication skills.
Trauma survivors often struggle with expressing their emotions and communicating their needs effectively. In therapy, couples can learn how to communicate more effectively, including how to express their emotions in a healthy way and how to listen actively to their partner.
Trauma therapy can also help couples to develop a greater sense of self-awareness.
Trauma survivors often struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-esteem. In therapy, couples can explore these feelings and develop strategies to improve their self-esteem and self-worth. This can lead to a greater sense of confidence and empowerment in the relationship.
Finally, trauma therapy can help couples to develop resilience.
Trauma can leave lasting scars, but with the right support, couples can learn to overcome these challenges and build a stronger, more resilient relationship. In therapy, couples can develop coping strategies that will help them to navigate future challenges and build a stronger, more resilient bond.
Couples therapists have seen the incredible benefits that trauma therapy can have on relationships. By providing a safe space for couples to explore the impact of trauma on their relationship, trauma therapy can help couples to develop greater empathy, compassion, trust, intimacy, communication skills, self-awareness, and resilience.
If you or your partner is struggling with the effects of trauma on your relationship, you are welcome to seek the support of a qualified couples and trauma therapist. Together, you can overcome the challenges of trauma and build a stronger, more loving relationship.
Couples Therapy and Trauma Therapy in Long Beach and online in California.
Prospect Therapy is a queer + trans affirming therapy practice based in Long Beach, CA, with a focus on mental health for first-generation, immigrant, and bicultural communities. We continue to provide online therapy for a variety of mental wellness and relationship concerns to clients throughout the state of California. Learn more about how we bring lived experience to our work with people of all ages in our communities by requesting a consultation below.