by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.
If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably learned that grand romantic gestures, while nice, can’t alone sustain a loving relationship; more often, it’s the subtler, everyday interactions that dictate much of how we feel with our partners: How you greet each other at the end of a long day, the small ways you show up, inside jokes, and a reliable shoulder to lean on when times are tough. Over time, those moments create a kind of emotional reserve. In the Gottman Method of couples therapy, we call this the emotional bank account.
The idea is simple, but profound: Every interaction between partners either deposits into or withdraws from that account. Warmth, affection, and attention all add to your balance. Criticism, dismissal, and neglect take away from it. When your emotional bank account is full, it’s easier to weather stress, misunderstandings, and conflict because you’re drawing from a well of trust and goodwill. Conversely, when it’s low, even small infractions may be enough to cause a disgruntled partner to rethink their relationship.
And, for queer and trans relationships, as well as other marginalized groups, who may already be carrying the emotional toll of navigating an often unkind world, these daily “deposits” can mean so much more, as a strong, trusting relationship (romantic or not) is sometimes our most reliable source of support and affirmation.
by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.
In the aftermath of romantic attachment, we often imagine only rupture: the slammed doors, the silence, the fragments of ourselves left scattered in the emotional debris. But, what if the end of a relationship was not a failure, but an evolution? What if the way we part ways became as intentional and compassionate as the way we came together?
Conscious uncoupling is not simply a trend or a softer word for divorce—it is a philosophy of ending that respects the bond once shared. It is the courageous act of turning toward the pain with curiosity rather than blame, with integrity rather than vindication. As a therapist, I have sat with couples in the throes of heartbreak and also with those choosing to close their relationship with care. And I’ve come to believe that how we end matters as much as how we begin.
by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT
If you’ve ever played Dark Souls, you know it’s a franchise that carries a reputation for its punishing bosses, bleak atmosphere, and environmental storytelling. Players new to the series find themselves facing defeat at every turn. The world of Lordran feels hostile and desolate. Everything wants to kill you, even the environment itself. Because, as seasoned players know, the real boss is gravity. The story is fragmented. Progress is slow and grueling.
So why do people like this game so much? True, there are fans who are in it for bragging rights, who want to make the game seem as difficult and as inaccessible as possible to new players in order to bolster their gamer egos. But there’s more to it than that. For many others, there is a genuine pleasure taken in meeting the challenges the game presents, and it’s in those challenges that I’ve found the greatest meaning.
Of course, I don’t mean to suggest that video games are a cure for mental health struggles; however, like any work of art, games can reflect life back at us in sometimes surprising ways. And, as someone who’s worked closely with depression and has, at times, struggled with it personally, I found that the mindset I developed while playing Dark Souls was useful for more than just beating bosses.
by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.
For many people, family is a source of love, support, and belonging. But what happens when your family of origin—parents, siblings, or extended relatives—becomes a persistent source of pain, chaos, or emotional harm? The idea of going no-contact can feel drastic, even taboo. Yet, for some, it’s a necessary step toward healing and reclaiming personal peace.
By Andrew Kravig, LMFT.
Okay, where to begin?! Let’s start with this: Leaning into vulnerability isn’t comfortable, but it’s where courage is born.
When you’re preparing to tell your family you’re in a polyamorous relationship, you're not just sharing a fact about your love life. You’re sharing something deeply personal, layered, and likely misunderstood. Something about who you are as a person and how you understand your place in the world. And that means vulnerability will have to walk hand in hand with this conversation.
But here’s what I know: Authenticity is a practice. And living wholeheartedly means choosing to show up, even when there are no guarantees. So, let’s let go of certainty, and see what vulnerable authenticity can offer us.
Here are some things to keep in mind as you approach this conversation.
Cozy sweaters. Hot chocolate. Holidays focused on food and gifts. Waking up to a snow-covered lawn. For some people, winter is the literal best time of year. But it’s a whole different story for the SAD people. The winter months bring about colder weather and shorter days, which means seasonal depression/anxiety or (SAD) seasonal affective disorder for some people.
Convenient to Long Beach and Seal Beach at:
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contact@prospecttherapy.com | (562) 704-4736
