by Wanda Diep, LCSW.
Let's talk about anxiety, stress and overwhelm. Sometimes, at the start of a session, a client will mention that they’ve been feeling upset, overwhelmed, and simply exhausted. And they're extra frustrated because they have no idea why they are feeling this way. It’s one thing to feel overwhelmed by the stress you have, and it can feel additionally frustrating to not know why.
And yes, it’s clear that there are a lot of reasons to feel stressed, even outside of our own bubble. Although our wellbeing is connected to others’, it can feel like your own stress is competing with the stresses of the world (and losing). Even taking those things into consideration, it’s not always clear what’s bugging us.
I'd like to share a tool that I like to use to help increase awareness around what’s contributing to the overwhelm: creating a low-stakes timeline. This is for figuring out what’s adding to your overwhelm, especially when you can already identify the big-ticket-anxiety-items.
To start, it’s helpful to determine when changes may have started. It doesn’t have to be a concrete day or time; a general period of time is sufficient. As a question, it can sound like: when did you start noticing changes to how you feel? when did the overwhelm begin?
The range of when the overwhelm began can range from a few days to years. For this example, let’s say the overwhelm started about a week ago. Let’s see what’s been going on throughout the week:
I went out to dinner with friends on Friday night.
I spent the afternoon in the park on Saturday afternoon.
I had a cozy day at home for all of Sunday.
From there, we can get more specific. Are there any notable emotional experiences during these days?
I was feeling a little out-of-place and self-conscious during dinner with friends.
At the park, there was an argument between strangers which led to my feeling unsafe
My day at home, while cozy, made me feel like I was unproductive
Moments that feel small can add up and have an impact. Judgement about how much these moments should matter can be a barrier toward understanding their impact and addressing any related issues. I want this to be a reminder that all stress falls on a spectrum. If it affects you, then it affects you.
If you're interested in trying this exercise out, I would encourage pulling up a calendar, either digital or analog, and reviewing your recent experiences. From there, try to see if they were any notable moments and explore if they left an emotional impact. If these events may have activated a strong past memory, it could be helpful to process these experiences with a professional. For now, this exercise can help in providing more context to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and/or overwhelm.
I hope that this tool allows you to have a better understanding of what is currently weighing on you, and from there, empower you from that knowledge. Good luck.
If you’re ready to process some of this with a licensed professional, myself and the therapists at Prospect Therapy may be able to help.
P.S. There’s a stress inventory tool that can be helpful. It’s called the The Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory. It focuses on major life changes and a few listed may surprise you. A pdf version of the tool can be found here.
Read more about therapy with Wanda here.
Ready more about therapy for anxiety here.