For many people, this is a topic with which they have a little familiarity, but want to know more. Why do pronouns matter? And why is it essential to refer to people with their pronouns?
Why Do Pronouns Matter?
trans affirming therapy
by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.
Imagine you’re standing in a parking lot, just about to head into work, when you check your phone. There’s a message from your partner: They think they might be trans. They know a text isn’t ideal. That it might feel impersonal, but the words get stuck in their throat whenever they try to muster the courage to say something. Just writing that sentence took everything.
How might you feel in that situation? How do you imagine you would respond?
There is no playbook for when a partner comes out to you, especially in those critical moments when they need you most and, for some, this news can come as a shock.
by Wanda Diep, LCSW.
Have you felt that lingering pang of guilt after feeling upset or even pissed the hell off at someone you care about deeply? Or frustrated when you notice feeling upset after something that’s “small” or “not worth getting emotional over”?
What you notice in these moments are called meta-emotions: feelings about your feelings. There are a few examples of these meta-emotions. Here are some of the most common I come across:
Guilt about feeling anger
Shame/embarrassment about experiencing jealousy (which can be viewed as a system of emotions, but that’s a conversation for another time).
Frustration with feeling sad, anxious, or “emotional”
Anxious about feeling anxious
Nervous about feeling happy
Okay, now I know what meta-emotions are. Why are they important?
depression
by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.
I often feel like the new year (and all of the hype around it) arrives like an overenthusiastic motivational speaker— there’s the banging of pots and pans, folks shouting about “fresh starts,” and insisting this is the year everything changes. So much noise. Meanwhile, I’m standing over here in my mismatched socks, feeling emotionally exhausted, and wondering if it’s acceptable for me to set my expectations somewhere between “survive” and “remember to drink water.”
I live with chronic depression. And living with depression has a way of muting the fireworks. No matter how big and beautiful those fireworks might be. While the calendar flips with explosions of confetti and enthusiastic countdowns, my brain tends to respond with a kind of cautious squint. Hope feels fragile. Light feels far away. And yet—annoyingly, persistently—January still shows up, asking me what I want from the new year.
couples therapy, relationships
by Wanda Diep, LCSW.
When it comes to building and strengthening meaningful relationships, mattering plays a huge role. It’s one thing to say “you matter to me,” but there’s a different sense of security when this is felt.
Back in the 1980s, a couple researchers by the names of McCullogh and Rosenberg broke down mattering into three parts: attention, importance and dependence. It’s updated now to a version of awareness, importance and reliance. Let’s look at the three components a little more closely:
anxiety
by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.
We live in a world that seems to be moving faster each day—spinning with uncertainty, division, and painful change. Whether it’s the weight of global events, personal loss, or the quiet ache of feeling ungrounded, many of us are walking through life carrying more than we put into words. And in these moments—when the ground beneath us feels shaky—what we most long for is often what we most resist: compassion for ourselves.
Self-compassion is not a passive turning away from reality. It is not about excusing ourselves or avoiding discomfort. Rather, it is a courageous presence—a tender and honest attending to our own hearts. In the midst of inner and outer storms, it becomes a gateway to clarity, resilience, and peace.
