First-Generation Americans

What is Inherited Family Trauma & How to Heal

What is Inherited Family Trauma & How to Heal

Many of us have family members who struggled through The Great Depression. Families had to cut back on expenses, save everything, and live in a period of great scarcity. Despite this event happening two generations ago, the habits and responses we still have from that trauma continue to be passed down. Though many of us have not faced the same kind of economic crisis as The Great Depression, we live in its shadow because of inherited family trauma.

Inherited family trauma is when a child is indirectly exposed to the trauma of a parent, who was likely exposed to the trauma of their parent, which leads to a dangerous cycle. The parent could end up placing the child in the same situation without meaning to. If you do not confront your trauma, you will not be able to help your child going through the same thing. You will be helpless as a family instead of a united force.

Here are ways that you all can heal from inherited family trauma.

Mental Health Considerations for Bicultural People

Mental Health Considerations for Bicultural People

It’s hard to find a balance between a culture you know and one you embrace once you immigrate somewhere new. This dichotomy is difficult internally as you categorize and organize and make sense of everything you’ve known and everything you’re learning. This struggle can be a heavy burden to bear on it’s own, but it becomes even harder when other people are involved.

This can lead to a type of impostor syndrome for first-generation Americans. People who feel like they are not “_____” enough for any setting often begin questioning other parts of their identity and hide things about themselves that are not part of the dominant culture. This creates space for internalizing other people’s messages about who they are, and can contribute to some serious self-doubt.

Straddling two worlds: Fostering Immigrant Communities of Healing

Straddling two worlds: Fostering Immigrant Communities of Healing

In so many recent conversations, I’ve heard about the specific challenges experienced by immigrant communities and first- and second-generation Americans. Like so many things, putting a name and framework to a cluster of experiences can be immensely healing.

For many of us, we don’t realize the impact of this identity — until we do.

It’s a strange experience trying to pay back an invaluable debt that you didn’t really ask for but very much appreciate.

I spoke with Lindsey Phillips at Counseling Today about what it’s like to work with my community therapeutically. She ended up writing an excellent article about the specific mental health challenges experienced by first- and second-generation Americans and how we can find healing.

#FirstGenerationProblems: It Matters Where You Come From

#FirstGenerationProblems: It Matters Where You Come From

Sure, all kinds of parents can be over-protective. Some families may expect you to work (or stay home) depending on your age, gender, or the type of work you want to do. But immigrant communities have an added layer of stress built in, that other people don’t have to contend with. Getting a car or a diploma means so much more to us, and it may not necessarily be seen as a good thing.

Parents are acculturating at a different rate than their kids who are born or raised in America, and they really just want what’s best for you. But the accompanying ambivalence and inner conflict can lead to internalized feelings of unease, and can impact so many aspects of your life and relationships.

Things like choosing a more “palatable” name, only speaking English, choosing an unexpected career, avoiding cultural social circles, or even your romantic preferences are all places this conflict can manifest.

How New Traditions Can Help with Holiday Depression

How New Traditions Can Help with Holiday Depression

If the end-of-the-year holiday traditions are bringing up conflicted feelings for you, you’re not alone. For many people, feelings of nostalgia can bring up regret; trying to create (or re-create) community can feel isolating; and even joyful activities can remind us of old pains that we usually try to ignore.

Anyone who has tried to maintain a holiday tradition in the wake of a loss or major life change can tell you: Trying to keep things as they were is its own kind of torture.

The Bi+ Guide to Going Home for the Holidays

The Bi+ Guide to Going Home for the Holidays

Yes, another “holiday edition” blog post. They’re springing up everywhere!

This is a good one, especially for my fellow Bi+ (bisexual, pansexual, non-monosexual) folks, especially if you are in a relationship with a partner of a different gender. Bi+ people are less likely to be out, and can easily get roped into phobic rhetoric that is annoying on a good day, but triggering on a bad day.

People often feel like they have “no choice” but to commit to stressful, sometimes harmful family events. Hey guess what, you don’t have to. But if you do decide to attend, you can make it less painful for yourself and maybe even have a good time.

How Being the "Black Sheep" of your Family Affects your Mental Health

How Being the "Black Sheep" of your Family Affects your Mental Health

The black sheep of the family is the outcast, seen as different, written off. At best, they're playfully teased; at worst, they're rejected. The more they're ridiculed, the less likely they are to open up and share things about themselves. The less they share, the more of an outcast they become. 

Why does this happen, and what can you do about it?