Sara Stanizai
Benefits of Choosing a Neurodivergent Therapist

When it comes to your mental health, the importance of finding the right therapist cannot be overstated. Finding someone who gets your life and empathizes with your goals can be tricky if your life doesn’t look mainstream, which is the case for most of our neurodivergent clients. Plus, you deserve excellent clinical care! A shortcut to finding a therapist that is a great fit is looking for neurodivergent affirming therapists, who are often therapists who are neurodivergent themselves. Neurodivergent therapists bring a unique perspective to the therapeutic relationship, offering a myriad of benefits for both neurodivergent and neurotypical clients.

Benefits of Choosing a Neurodivergent Therapist
Sara Stanizai
Embracing Self-Discovery in Neurodiversity

Getting to know yourself and learning how your brain works can be a tricky journey, especially when it comes to neurodivergent experiences like ADHD. There is so much information online, but it’s hard to tell what’s a trustworthy source, and some sources seem to directly contradict others, making it quickly overwhelming. If you find yourself wondering, "How do I know if I have ADHD? Do I need to see a professional or can I diagnose myself?" this post is for you, written from a neurodiversity-affirming perspective.

Embracing Self-Discovery in Neurodiversity
Sara Stanizai
Breaking the Doom Spending Cycle

It’s 2024- even on a good day, there’s a lot to feel anxious about. There’s the big picture: global warming, pandemic, human rights violations, inflation, uncertain job futures- and that’s not even considering individual stressors like difficult jobs or strained relationships.

We all feel anxiety sometimes and we all have different ways to cope with it. For some of us, we like to get a little spendy: enter doom spending. Whether it's impulsively buying items online or constantly seeking comfort in retail therapy, doom spending can become a harmful coping mechanism. In this post, we'll explore the connection between anxiety and doom spending, and more importantly, discuss healthy coping strategies to break free from this cycle.

Breaking the Doom Spending Cycle
Sara Stanizai
Exploring Stimming in Adults: Understanding, ...

Stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, is a term commonly associated with neurodivergent individuals, including ADHD and autistic adults.

But what is it, actually? And- does it serve a purpose?


By de-pathologizing and normalizing stimming, we can better understand its benefits for the nervous system and overall mental health. It’s super important to support/encourage stimming for those who find it helpful, and explore how affirming therapists can support ADHD adults in various aspects of their lives.

Exploring Stimming in Adults: Understanding, Normalizing, and Supporting Neurodivergence
Sara Stanizai
Managing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in Your ...

You may be familiar with the term Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It’s not gender dysphoria or being a highly sensitive person. If you spend any time on mental health channels on social media, you know these words can all start to sound the same.

What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is an emotional response to the perception of rejection or criticism, which can be more intense for individuals with ADHD or certain neurodivergent traits.

It goes without saying, then, that RSD can have a huge impact on relationships. It can manifest as hypersensitivity, fear of abandonment, and emotional volatility. Unfortunately, these can easily be confused with attachment issues, personality disorders, even abuse. It is crucial for partners to recognize that RSD is not a character flaw but a neurobiological response.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria can significantly impact relationships, causing emotional turmoil and strained connections. However, with understanding, communication, and a few proactive strategies, managing RSD within your relationship is possible.

Managing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in Your Relationship

impostor syndrome

Being the Token Friend: How to Deal with the Stereotype of the Model Minority

Being the Token Friend: How to Deal with the Stereotype of the Model Minority

We all make judgments about the people we know or meet. We’re literally wired to do this. Our brains want to find similarities among things and put them in the same category.

It becomes a problem when we do this to people. You know, because people aren’t objects, animals, or abstract concepts. Then it stops being a natural tendency for order, and becomes a stereotype.

When we stereotype people, we unfairly put them into a narrow box of expectations. These stereotypes are particularly harmful for minority groups (aka the global majority) who are to be seen and valued for more than their appearance or presentation.

The “token friend” is a person of a minority group in a majority friend group. This is when they are treated and viewed like an outlier, even among their peers.

This friend is often used to make someone feel satisfied that they’ve crossed the race, gender, or sexuality divide. If you find yourself in the position of being a token friend, you know the pain of being painted into a narrow box. This weighs heavily on one’s mental health because they are not valued as a complete person. Here are the consequences of being a token friend and how to deal with being the stereotype of the model minority.

Self-Sabotage: What to Do When Your Own Worst Enemy Is You?

Self-Sabotage: What to Do When Your Own Worst Enemy Is You?

Do you ever feel like despite knowing and wanting to do the best, you still make bad decisions? Maybe you keep seeing that same casual “friend” who hits you up with the “WYD?” text, even when the relationship is still toxic. Perhaps you repeatedly stay up late on a work night scrolling through TikTok videos, even when you know that you’ll be exhausted the next day.

In the words of icon Hannah Montana, everybody makes mistakes — it’s natural and human of us to do so. But when you cross the line between a one-off mistake and repeatedly making bad choices, you may be entering self-sabotage territory.

Your Attachment Style at Work

Your Attachment Style at Work

Although it sounds like a qualifier for Velcro or glue, attachment style is a psychological term that describes how people relate to others.

The simplest way to describe them is in 3 different types: secure, avoidant-dismissive, or anxious-preoccupied. You’ve probably heard of attachment styles when it comes to romantic or familial relationships. While we do form different attachment styles in these relationships, we also develop them in other types of relationships. Did you know these also apply to your work relationships?

Okay, work spouses are a totally different thing. But have you ever considered the type of attachment style that you have with your job?

This isn’t just how we relate personally to our work (that’s called intrapersonal attachment, just FYI) - but is your job an intrinsic part of your identity? Something you take personally, and without it would be a different person? Or is it something utilitarian that you enjoy but check out of as soon as we’re “off the clock.” How much of ourselves does our job define?

Our attachment style reveals itself even more when it comes to how we relate to the people we work with (interpersonal attachment to our work environment). Do you stay out of the office drama? Or are you always the problem solver? How invested are you in the place where you work? And how invested do they need to be in you?

Many people spend a lot of time in the workplace and frequently interact with their boss or coworkers. So even though you may have never considered it, these relationships with attachment styles can apply to our job.

But why is it helpful to look at workplace attachment styles? Because it can help us be happier and find work that is more fulfilling. If you know what you need, it’s easier to find a workplace that will give you what you need. Added bonus? It also can show us how we can do the same in our personal relationships.

Mental Health Considerations for Bicultural People

Mental Health Considerations for Bicultural People

It’s hard to find a balance between a culture you know and one you embrace once you immigrate somewhere new. This dichotomy is difficult internally as you categorize and organize and make sense of everything you’ve known and everything you’re learning. This struggle can be a heavy burden to bear on it’s own, but it becomes even harder when other people are involved.

This can lead to a type of impostor syndrome for first-generation Americans. People who feel like they are not “_____” enough for any setting often begin questioning other parts of their identity and hide things about themselves that are not part of the dominant culture. This creates space for internalizing other people’s messages about who they are, and can contribute to some serious self-doubt.

10 Ways You Know You’re Overcoming Impostor Syndrome

10 Ways You Know You’re Overcoming Impostor Syndrome

Impostor syndrome really sucks.

Have you ever felt like you were a fraud? Do you downplay your skills, talents or abilities, even if you’ve literally done them before and have all the hours logged? Welcome to impostor syndrome.

I’m willing to bet, if you think you have it, you’ve read plenty about it.

Pored through articles looking for proof of your failure. (That would be a sign pointing to YES YOU HAVE IT, by the way.)

Thankfully, Impostor Syndrome doesn’t have to be permanent!

In fact, you might already be working your way out of it, even if it doesn’t feel like you are.

Here is a list you can look through for AWESOME things you’re already doing that show how far you’ve come. (No, you don’t have to get 100% to pass here.)

With dedication and personal development work (especially some targeted therapy), you can escape the cycle of self-doubt. No matter what type of Impostor Syndrome you may relate to, here are 10 hints that tell you’re already overcoming the fraud feelings of Impostor Syndrome. (And if you’re not already doing these, just pick a few and start now! BOOM. You’re doing it).

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Why High Achievers Avoid Therapy (and why they shouldn't)

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Why High Achievers Avoid Therapy (and why they shouldn't)

If you’ve been a high-achiever for most of your life, you’ve gotten used to chasing - and finding - success. It’s not an accident that you’ve exceeded in academics, your social life, and in your career. Sure, this drive often comes from a deep desire to be liked and to compensate for deficits (emotional or otherwise) from your childhood. But who wants to talk about that?

We do!

When you’re busy juggling a career, relationships, hobbies, and a social life, it’s easy to ignore emotional or mental health issues. You might not even notice there are issues to avoid in first place. Everything is fine as long as I keep saying it is, right? This is what we in the biz call super-avoidance. (No one calls it that.)

Self-described “alphas” often get that way by ruthlessly prioritizing. And therapy might not be the highest priority on your list. If everything is fine, why rock a steady boat?

While this isn’t always the case, sometimes that very success that we are so proud of, comes at the price of our mental health. What types of emotions and experiences have you given up in order to meet arbitrary milestones, to meet that long-fetishized muse named productivity, or to please someone in authority?

As long as you continue to ignore your mental well-being, it will soon affect other aspects of your life. As they say, if you don’t make time for your wellness, you’ll have to make time for your illness.

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What is Impostor Syndrome and How Does it Affect People Like Me?

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What is Impostor Syndrome and How Does it Affect People Like Me?

Impostor Syndrome or Impostor Phenomenon s a term coined by Pauline Clance in 1978, based on her research studies of high-achieving women in university settings. It is characterized by people of all genders who are successful by reasonable external measures but have not internalized this success. Instead, they report that their success was gained either by accident, an oversight by others, or that they are generally a fraud, waiting to be found out.

While it was originally researched among college women, newer research suggests that it is experienced across the board. Which makes sense - people of all genders experience specific societal expectations, and struggle with self-image.

One of our specialties is working with high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, and impostor syndrome, particularly in bicultural, first-generation, and immigrant Americans. There is a great deal of impostor syndrome in people who are acculturating to mainstream American culture. It’s exacerbated by the tendency that these folks are often acculturating at a rate faster than their families of origin, so people often don’t have the same “back-up” and reinforcement from their families. In this way, they may feel like they are unintentionally “leaving their families behind.”

One of the side effects of balancing your family's values and expectations with your own, is that people often feel like a failure by one set of standards (their family's), despite being successful by another set of measures (mainstream culture). And their own values are caught somewhere in the middle.

When your primary support system (your family) doesn’t know how to validate your success, you can start to believe it doesn’t count. Many bicultural people feel that their families don’t understand their work, their lifestyle, or some aspect of their identity. Compliments can feel stale or superficial. Or you might just stop sharing good news altogether because the response is disappointing.

There are other effects of impostor syndrome as well. It can cause people to hold themselves back from their goals, it can cause social and relational isolation, and can exacerbate existing symptoms of anxiety or depression. There is that self-fulfilling prophecy of not believing you are worthy of advancement, so people stop offering you opportunities, thus reinforcing your feelings of inadequacy.

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The Five Types of Impostor Syndrome

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The Five Types of Impostor Syndrome

Have you ever felt like you’re living a life you don’t deserve? Or, that you are offered opportunities you aren’t qualified for?

Turns out, even the highest achievers go through the same thing as you, and it’s called the impostor syndrome.

Impostor syndrome affects 70 percent of millennials and counting. This syndrome is defined as an extreme case of self-doubt. So extreme that it stops you from chasing your dreams or sharing your experiences with those that are two steps behind you.

It’s the inability to internalize (or believe) in your success despite external evidence of that success.

You constantly think everything you do is fraudulent. But guess what? You are worthy of your experiences. You have earned your place no matter what stage of life, or your career, you are in.

The 5 types of impostor syndrome are:

  1. The Perfectionist: You set your own bar a little too high, because reaching a goal means it must not have been that hard to do.

  2. The SuperHuman: Overworking yourself means you’re the best, right?

  3. The Natural Genius: Really good at stuff, but only do what’s comfortable.

  4. The Soloist: Thinks asking for help shows weakness.

  5. The Expert: You know your stuff but freeze when someone asks you to demonstrate your competence.

This syndrome may stop you from reaching your biggest career goals or pushing yourself to grow. If you think you may be dealing with impostor syndrome, Mint created an infographic explaining the different types, how each type may affect your finances, and tips to overcoming it.

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Feeling Like a Fraud? How to Identify Impostor Syndrome

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Feeling Like a Fraud? How to Identify Impostor Syndrome

Many people can be socially awkward from time to time. It’s normal to experience periods of self-doubt. It’s natural (and healthy!) to second guess ourselves sometimes, too.

The important thing about impostor syndrome (rather than just regular anxiety or self-esteem issues) is that despite fears of being inadequate, you are wholly qualified to be doing what you’re doing.

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5 Ways to Cure Impostor Syndrome

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5 Ways to Cure Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome is that internal voice telling you that you don't deserve the success you've created. People often describe an internal fear of inadequacy and failure, and constantly waiting for the "other shoe to drop."  Here are five ways you can undo those feelings in your work, relationships, and at home:

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