by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.
When people think about anxiety, they usually imagine constant worrying or thoughts looping on repeat. However, anxiety, like all emotions, is not a purely cognitive experience; it also lives in the body. Tight shoulders, unexplained nausea, a racing heart, or restless nights can all be signs of stress you’re carrying without realizing it.
This connection between mind and body matters, especially in a world where stress feels increasingly inescapable. Many people are living with not just personal worries but also collective fears tied to politics and questions of safety. For LGBTQ folks, immigrants, and others navigating discrimination, uncertainty, and threats of violence, the weight of these pressures can show up as chronic stress. Paying attention to how anxiety affects the body can be a first step toward understanding what you’re going through and can offer some concrete strategies to care for yourself even when so much else feels out of your hands.
by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.
In my time working with those suffering from addiction, I have found one truth to be consistently overlooked—not by those struggling, but by the systems, narratives, and even treatments surrounding them: The absence of self-compassion.
Addiction is not a choice. It is not a moral failing. It is not, at its core, about substances or behaviors. Addiction is a response—a deeply human response—to pain. It is an attempt to soothe wounds that may not even be remembered, to quiet voices of shame that have echoed for decades, and to reclaim, if only briefly, a sense of agency in a world that once felt out of control.
Yet despite this, those struggling with addiction are often met with judgment—from others, certainly, but most tragically, from themselves.
by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT.
If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably learned that grand romantic gestures, while nice, can’t alone sustain a loving relationship; more often, it’s the subtler, everyday interactions that dictate much of how we feel with our partners: How you greet each other at the end of a long day, the small ways you show up, inside jokes, and a reliable shoulder to lean on when times are tough. Over time, those moments create a kind of emotional reserve. In the Gottman Method of couples therapy, we call this the emotional bank account.
The idea is simple, but profound: Every interaction between partners either deposits into or withdraws from that account. Warmth, affection, and attention all add to your balance. Criticism, dismissal, and neglect take away from it. When your emotional bank account is full, it’s easier to weather stress, misunderstandings, and conflict because you’re drawing from a well of trust and goodwill. Conversely, when it’s low, even small infractions may be enough to cause a disgruntled partner to rethink their relationship.
And, for queer and trans relationships, as well as other marginalized groups, who may already be carrying the emotional toll of navigating an often unkind world, these daily “deposits” can mean so much more, as a strong, trusting relationship (romantic or not) is sometimes our most reliable source of support and affirmation.
by Andrew Kravig, LMFT.
In the aftermath of romantic attachment, we often imagine only rupture: the slammed doors, the silence, the fragments of ourselves left scattered in the emotional debris. But, what if the end of a relationship was not a failure, but an evolution? What if the way we part ways became as intentional and compassionate as the way we came together?
Conscious uncoupling is not simply a trend or a softer word for divorce—it is a philosophy of ending that respects the bond once shared. It is the courageous act of turning toward the pain with curiosity rather than blame, with integrity rather than vindication. As a therapist, I have sat with couples in the throes of heartbreak and also with those choosing to close their relationship with care. And I’ve come to believe that how we end matters as much as how we begin.
by Tiffany Hooton, LMFT
If you’ve ever played Dark Souls, you know it’s a franchise that carries a reputation for its punishing bosses, bleak atmosphere, and environmental storytelling. Players new to the series find themselves facing defeat at every turn. The world of Lordran feels hostile and desolate. Everything wants to kill you, even the environment itself. Because, as seasoned players know, the real boss is gravity. The story is fragmented. Progress is slow and grueling.
So why do people like this game so much? True, there are fans who are in it for bragging rights, who want to make the game seem as difficult and as inaccessible as possible to new players in order to bolster their gamer egos. But there’s more to it than that. For many others, there is a genuine pleasure taken in meeting the challenges the game presents, and it’s in those challenges that I’ve found the greatest meaning.
Of course, I don’t mean to suggest that video games are a cure for mental health struggles; however, like any work of art, games can reflect life back at us in sometimes surprising ways. And, as someone who’s worked closely with depression and has, at times, struggled with it personally, I found that the mindset I developed while playing Dark Souls was useful for more than just beating bosses.
Sometimes, your day just really sucks. So you re-do your most recent Postmates order, put your favorite Broad City episode on for the eighty millionth time, and open up ASOS to look at the new arrivals. Two hours later, you’ve spent all your grocery money for the week on the cute shoes you felt like you absolutely needed. (They sold out last time!)
If you’ve been living with depression, you have probably tried everything to get rid of it.
It’s not as easy as just “cheering up” or “focusing on the positive,” is it? Well-meaning friends and family love giving this advice, but obviously if you could, you would have by now! Instead, you’ve tried distracting yourself by trying to constantly have fun, avoiding uncomfortable situations and focusing on anything that could be considered “self-care” (whatever that means), or just giving in and staying in bed, hoping it would clear up.
Sometimes that works! But inevitably, it comes back. Then you’re not only depressed, but frustrated that you’ve “let” depression take over again, which makes you even more depressed, irritable, and exhausted.
It’s totally normal to avoid things that make us feel uncomfortable. Whether it’s physical pain like a toothache, or something hitting us in our emotional gut, like a bill we can’t afford to pay. For some, if left unchecked, this can lead to even more depression. Avoidance and procrastination can tend to make things worse, despite the fact that they are usually just coping mechanisms for situations that are overwhelming or feel out of our control.
Yes, another “holiday edition” blog post. They’re springing up everywhere!
This is a good one, especially for my fellow Bi+ (bisexual, pansexual, non-monosexual) folks, especially if you are in a relationship with a partner of a different gender. Bi+ people are less likely to be out, and can easily get roped into phobic rhetoric that is annoying on a good day, but triggering on a bad day.
People often feel like they have “no choice” but to commit to stressful, sometimes harmful family events. Hey guess what, you don’t have to. But if you do decide to attend, you can make it less painful for yourself and maybe even have a good time.
If your goal-setting isn't working, it might be because you're focusing on the wrong tasks. Have you ever set a deadline...and then kept moving it? Do you want to be a marathon runner but don't know where to start? Use this guide to figure out how to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
The black sheep of the family is the outcast, seen as different, written off. At best, they're playfully teased; at worst, they're rejected. The more they're ridiculed, the less likely they are to open up and share things about themselves. The less they share, the more of an outcast they become.
Why does this happen, and what can you do about it?
Impostor Syndrome is that internal voice telling you that you don't deserve the success you've created. People often describe an internal fear of inadequacy and failure, and constantly waiting for the "other shoe to drop." Here are five ways you can undo those feelings in your work, relationships, and at home:
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